woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
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