This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
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I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
My breasts were aching with rage.
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My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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