I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
