Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
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i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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