What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
