then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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