told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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