I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
