Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Just invented taco cereal.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
