I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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