I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize