the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
