My room smells like vodka and shame
...so i touched it.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
