I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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