after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
