I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
