I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize