Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
