She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
