i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
My feet surprised me
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
