remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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