Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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