My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
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