And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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