What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
