I puked a lego.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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