How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
