grandma shit on top of the toilet
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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