you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
