Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
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