Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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