My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize
