I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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