I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
