i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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