A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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