He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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