It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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