Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
