Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
