woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
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And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
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it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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