he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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