I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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