"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
