I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
