oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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