I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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