just come out here and I will go home with you...
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
