I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
