There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
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