two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
