well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
