Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
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No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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