Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
