i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck your aforementioned shoe
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize