awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
