somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize