this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Randomize
