well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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