so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
