So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
