im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
