My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
