I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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