It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
