zippers are such a cool invention
he was CRYING into my vagina
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
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