I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
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