i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize
