my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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