Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
